36 days to go and I am still not logistically ready for the big day, but I have learned some things after planning two weddings. (Well, make that 3 since I planned my own nearly 29 years ago.)
1. I have learned that no two brides are alike. The closer in age they are the more different they tend to be. Celebrate that fact!
2. Brides ask your opinion, but they will generally do what they want. That is a good thing. The day belongs to them.
3. Grooms who say they have no opinion are lying. It IS sweet for them to realize that she needs to be the queen that day. While they will want her to always be their queen, an occasional opinion is good, but never set their opinion in stone.
4. Including a groom’s mom in planning is a kind thing to do. After all, it is her child’s wedding too. However, she needs to remember #2.
5. It isn’t all about the ceremony and reception. The ceremony will be over in 20 to 30 minutes and the reception a few hours more. The planning can takes months. Therefore, recognize that the planning process is where a great portion of the memory making takes place. It is important to relax and enjoy that part of the journey too.
6. One of the most precious times in parenting is listening to your daughter’s share her dreams of her special day.
7. Let her dream and fulfill as many of her dreams as you can.
8. Accept with grace and dignity that you cannot fulfill every whim. Don’t feel guilty if you have to say no sometimes.
9. Construct a reasonable budget in the beginning. Double it. Then, stick to it. When you put the word “wedding” in front of anything the price goes way up. The reason is the bride and/or mother of the bride can be very hard to work with. Vendors want it to be worth their time to put up with the stress than can be created, plus this is their livelihood. Check out your vendors well before signing a contract, then get out of the way and let them do their job. If you respect your vendors, you will get good service.
10. It is okay to let your friends and family help. Be grateful.
11. As the date gets closer, the bride WILL BE stressed. Do what you can to reduce it, but don’t expect it to dissipate totally. Carry a pocket full of “passes” the final weeks. In other words, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”
12. Realize it is okay to break a few rules. In fact, breaking a few norms are just the things that will make her event unique.
13. She is not a spoiled brat. Every woman should have one day in her life where she gets to call all of the shots.
14. The Mother of the Bride needs to get out of the way…all of the time.
15. Cry if you want to.
16. Be thankful at all times.
17. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Something WILL go wrong on the wedding day.
18. Keep a sense of humor.
19. Take a sewing kit, extra make up and duct tape to the event site on the day of the wedding. Don’t ask, just do it.
20. Don’t cut corners on photography. When it is over, the food, beverages, flowers, music and everything else are mere memories. If you don’t have it in pictures, you have nothing tangible left to recall the precious, funny, ridiculous and important milestone that will impact your child forever.
Enjoying the journey…
